seitora's Naruto Loops
by Seitora
Summary: Story One: Naruto pranks Itachi and Kisame Story Two: The Death God Puts his Troll-face On Story Three: How many Kyuubis are there in fiction anyways? Story Four: Gato and his Silver Points


**This was written in response to the idea of "**Loops**", started on The Fanfiction Forum in the 'New Intros' topic (there is a link in my profile for those who are curious), which is a scenario in which the characters of anime, manga, book series, etc. are in a perennial Groundhog Day loop, not of a single day but of a timeline adhering to years. In this specific fanfiction, the **_**general**_** (but not held exactly strict) looping timeline for the Naruto series starts from the beginning of the manga to about the end of where the series will presumably wrap up at.**

"**Awake" refers to a character who, during the course of a loop, is aware of the fact that there are Loops and has memories from at least a single past life.**

**Crossover loops with other series also occur, as noted in stories 3 and 4.**

* * *

**Story One**

In Shukuba Town, there was an inn. On the second floor of the inn, two persons dressed in black cloaks with red clouds could be found standing, waiting outside a door that the shorter of the two had just knocked on. When kidnapping somebody, it was always polite to let them answer the door first.

A minute passed, before Uchiha Itachi rapped his knuckles against the wooden door again that separated the hallway from the room. Beside him, his partner, the gigantic man-fish Hoshigaki Kisame, commonly known as the Monster of the Mist, was getting antsy. One minute was too long to be inactive.

Another minute passed. "Argh, Itachi!" Kisame pleaded, "Can we just kick the door down and go grab the Kyuubi brat now?"

"Hnn." Itachi responded, thinking things over. "Very well, we cannot expect that genjutsu to fool Jiraiya of the Sannin forever."

He would have added not to make too much noise in the process, but he knew his partner well. While Kisame deferred to him in most things, asking him to stay quiet when his blood was beginning to roar was an order that would never be obeyed.

Kisame practically yipped with glee as he hoisted his long sword off his shoulder, holding its massive weight in one hand. With a loud boom, he brought the sword down, breaking through the thin wooden door like a warm knife through partially melted butter, like a vibroblade through jello, like a lightsaber through cotton candy, and you know what let's stop with the bad metaphors here.

What the Akatsuki duo didn't expect was for a hideous face to spring out from behind the door right into their faces, a disturbing laugh resounding in the background. 'U-hoo-hoo-hoo'. Even Orochimaru's 'kukuku' had nothing on it. Itachi instinctively used his eye-to-eye contact with the mysterious figure to cast a genjutsu on it. When his genjutsu fizzled, he was puzzled for the tenth of a second, until the face reared back. Then he saw it.

The 'face' was a mask, quite possibly bought from one of the stands he had seen out in the streets. It was attached to a spring. Somebody had known they had been coming and had set this trap up to mock them. Cold hatred leapt up at whoever had done this, making a fool out of him for a split second.

As for Kisame?

Kisame just about had a heart attack.

Cloaked beyond several invisibility techniques learned through the Loops, Naruto was cackling his ass off as he sat on a high branch on one of the trees right outside his hotel room window, watching the reactions of the two nuke-nin.

"Jack-in-the-box, bitches!" He jeered at them.

**Story Two**

**For a character mentioned in this story, refer to the writer Innortal's fanfic '****The Naruto Omake Files: Innortal Style' Chapter 11, the last scene. That's who Naruto makes reference to in this story.**

Naruto blinked, a brief feeling of nausea washing over him marking the start of a new loop.

He was no cloud-watcher, but those clouds certainly looked bigger to him than clouds usually did, their white hue very strong against the night sky.

Wait a minute...

It wasn't that the clouds were bigger. Rather, it was because he was far, far closer to the clouds than five feet off the ground.

**"What the-"** the Looper began to say, only to start at his voice. It was far, far deeper than he was used to. Far more guttural, almost like a growl.

With growing trepidation, he stopped looking at the clouds, bringing his gaze down to stare straight forward. On a giant orange-red toad stood a tiny figure, whose blonde hair stood out to Naruto's sharp eyesight, his hands clasped together in the Snake position. Rearing his head down further, Naruto saw the orange paws that were attached to his hands.

Then it began to get cold, a feeling Naruto was easily able to associate with the summoning of the Death God.

**"Well, shit."** Looks like he was Naruto, Kyuubi no Youko now.

_"You can say that again,"_ the Death God spoke as it appeared, its ugly maw sneering at Naruto. _"That's what you get for making fun of my looks."_

Naruto raised a furry eyebrow (at least, he assumed Kurama, and thus now him, had eyebrows in the first place), before he grinned. Unbeknownst to him, the Yondaime Hokage's heart nearly stopped, as the smiling visage of a giant monster fox was a terrifying thing.**"You realise Inari will have your balls for this?"**

The Death God gave a shrug. _"Rules are the rules. You may be a Looper as old as eternity, but as an actual God I'm still stronger than you, and this mortal IS sacrificing his tasty soul for me to seal you away. Have fun with your fifteen years or so. Don't worry,"_ The Death God hastily added as Naruto began to growl, _"You won't have anywhere near the same restrictions on meeting your vessel as your old tenant did."_

The wreath turned around to Minato, before swinging its oversized scythe down, causing the blonde man dressed in white to collapse like a puppet no longer controlled by its swings. Turning back to Naruto, he continued, _"I'm really sorry about this, by the way."_ Funny, he really didn't sound like it to Naruto as the scythe came down racing towards him.

A split second of pain he hadn't felt in eons, and then the odd feeling of his very soul being cut from his chakra body, before the essence that made him Naruto was compressed, and then stuffed into a tiny baby-sized human container.

_"Oh, by the way, I doubt Inari will have my balls,"_ The Death God taunted, his words becoming softer and softer as Naruto's hearing exposure to the outside world started to fade. _"What kind of relationship did you have with the bridge builder's grandson in the past, anyways? Ew, you sicko."_

Naruto jolted back to attention at that remark, shaking off the hypnosis he seemed to be falling under. He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a loud **"FFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffuuuuu-"** before his voice disappeared on him. The Shinigami had trolled him successfully and gotten away with it.

At least the Death God had been nice enough to actually have been telling the truth about Naruto having more freedom with regards to the seal that kept him locked away in his vessel than the original Kyuubi no Kitsune, Kurama, had had in his original lifetime.

What little goodwill Naruto had towards the Death God, who he would most certainly be siccing Inari on, and by Inari he meant the foxgirl goddess Inari, not the bridge builder's grandson Inari, evaporated right away.

"DAMN YOU BASTARD!" Naruto shouted in a voice not as loud as it once was, shaking his paw up towards the ceiling. "You sealed me inside a GIRL!"

The Looper just buried his canine head in his paws. Somehow, he just knew this Loop was going to end with his female alternate growing up and then falling head over heels for him all while turning into a sex maniac.

In wherever it was he lived, the Death God smirked. _"Mission accomplished",_ he said to himself, as he put his trollface on.

**Story Three**

Upon the commencement of a new Loop following a FUBAR loop that had a lot of villains and villain antagonists Awake during that time, Naruto could feel something was different.

It took about seven rounds (and then he kicked his mental time processes back to normal, playing Dungeons and Dragon with the likes of L, Light Yagami, Lelouch Lamperouge and Sosuke Aizen was _tough_) before he managed to figure out just what was that. Kurama wasn't there. But something else was.

Sighing, he dove into the heart of the seal, seeing if he was going to be greeting or killing his new tenant.

His first impression upon seeing the pink hair was that Sakura had somehow managed to FUBAR something that, while causing them to Loop in their Home Universe, also got her sealed inside him (that came out wrong in his head...). His second impression was that she had managed to grow animal ears and a foxtail in the process.

His third impression was that that wasn't Sakura. Her breasts weren't that large naturally.

"Uh, hello," Naruto waved at the foxgirl, who had suddenly jolted up from her pacing around on the ground of his mental commons. Oddly enough, there was no Seal or any other such partition between him and her. Just who was she, he wandered?

"Uwa!" The foxgirl squealed.

"Uwa?" Naruto quirked an eyebrow, then suddenly braced himself as the foxgirl jumped into his arms. "Oof!" Taking a couple of steps back quickly, he slowed down the momentum of his own fall as he fell down on the ground. "What was that for? Who are you, for that matter?" He asked, while one hand wandered for her ears, petting them. Never mind who she was even, considering he was basically immortal he didn't even care anymore, but she was damned cute!

"Me? I shouldn't tell Master my real name...so, call me Caster!" The self-named Caster squirmed on his lap, practically purring as he worked one hand through her ears, the other through her tail.

Caster?...oh shit, with that kind of name, she was definitely from Emiya's world. Naruto had only met the man a few times, but the guy was obsessed with swords. The first time he had landed in Naruto's universe, Emiya Shirou had gone and 'Traced' Kusanagi, Samehada, the Zabuza Sword and a number of other weapons. That had been a rather easy life since Shirou had kept the Akatsuki preoccupied while he kept attempting to trace Tobi's spoon. The guy was a bit lunatic, claiming over and over again that "The Zabuza Sword Cannot be Beat", but he was at least well enough to talk about his own home world. Hence, Naruto figured Caster was one of the spirits from the Throne of Heroes who had, somehow, managed her way into his universe for a Loop.

But, that comment about him being her Master...well, she seemed, er, _friendly_ enough already that it didn't seem she was only following him because he had (did he really? He would check later) Command Seals. Like magic, his eyes traced her adorable nose and closed eyes down her chest, and stopped at the side of her skirt, where the fabric separated right at the hip.

Slowly, blood started trickling from his nose as a single perverted thought ran through his head, _I wonder if Inari's interested in a threesome?_

**Story Four**

It had been a rather vanilla Loop for Naruto, with nobody else Awake. Bored, he had decided to stick to the events of his home universe, getting in on a team with Sakura and Sasuke taught by Kakashi, and eventually going on the mission to Wave Country. There, they had fought Zabuza, who had been rescued by Haku, then trained, then went out to fight Zabuza and Haku on the bridge.

It was after a prolonged battle when Gato was due to show up that things went _very_ wrong.

_I remember Gato being a lot shorter, and a bit thinner_, Naruto thought to himself. _A lot less chrome, too. And he certainly wasn't prone to breaking out into Karaoke._

"My name is Gato/  
I have metal joints/  
Beat me up/  
And earn fifteen silver points!"

That singing was disturbing. And where did he get that microphone from?!

**Story One**

This was kind of uninspired in writing, though, so the pay-off wasn't as good as I originally imagined it would be.

**Story Two**

In his spare time, the Death God (probably) does Karaoke.

**Story Three**

Poor Naruto, it's not _Inari_ you should be worrying about, it's the yandere right in front of you. Well, just keep her happy

Caster, or Castko, is a character from Fate/Extra (who is technically 'a' Kyuubi, hence Naruto still has Kyuubi sealed in his gut), while Emiya Shirou is from Fate/Stay Night. I am not responsible for any trauma that may occur if you decide to Google Seach 'Zabuza sword cannot be beat!'

And now I want to see a D&D game between Light, Lelouch, L and Aizen.

**Story Four**

Play Chrono Trigger.


End file.
